My Trumpety opening speech for a workshop


So… tomorrow I run a workshop on blockchain based platforms for trade and supply chain. Cool stuff. I wrote an inspired opening speech, which I am not sure if I will be brave enough to read. I leave it here for you all to enjoy!

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this blockchain workshop.

It is gonna be a great workshop.

It is gonna be absolutely fantastic.

Believe me. I know all about workshops.

It is gonna be the best workshop.

Today workshop is about blockchain based platforms for trade and supply chain.

A lot of people claim to know blockchain, and talk a lot about it, but they cannot build one. Can they? No. They are losers. Total losers.

They get into large projects, do some PR stunts, and then they disappear.

No blockchain solutions. They are a disaster, total disaster.

Well, you are lucky. Nobody does blockchain better than us. The best blockchain. It is true. I made a Blockchain for Trade Finance. You should try it sometime. It is the best. Totally the best. We don’t use it ourselves. We just give it to users. They love it!

A 400 pounds hacker did try to attack our Blockchain, but I built a firewall. The best Firewall …and I made the hackers pay for it! Total winner. I did grab them by the block!

Sometime banks come to me asking to build a solution with Ripple.

Is not even a real blockchain. It is a fake blockchain, total disaster.

You read in Financial Times that banks do trade finance solutions with Blockchain?

Fake news. I mean, alternative news. It’s ridiculous. Unbelievable.

We use Nxt.org for our blockchain solutions. It is huge, it is tremendous.

Very important people uses Nxt. It is so… it is terrific.

You could be one of them, because I know how to make tremendous Blockchain.

Chose OTDocs, and it is gonna be: “Blockchain First”.

Welcome to the workshop!

Let’s make Blockchain great again. With OTDocs!

[…]

I just came up with that. Brilliant.

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